


I always choose the dungeon over the sea view

by Sauerbraten



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Edward flirts with everyone, Eventual Smut, M/M, Scarecrow is a dick to Jonathan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-10 16:24:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sauerbraten/pseuds/Sauerbraten
Summary: Edward Nygma is the last rouge in Gotham to have an audience with the Scarecrow and he's determined that it won't be his last. Jonathan Crane just wants the Scarecrow to stop murdering people when he's in control.





	1. 1. The Professor

Edward Nygma had never despised The Penguin so much in his life.

Usually when he, or any other of Oswald's associates for that matter, was picked up randomly, blackmailed in the back of his car and then dumped out in the middle of nowhere; it was done with a bit more consideration. Normally Edward would get dropped off a few blocks away from his not-so-secret hideout after a cryptic chat about some stupid heist that he was supposed to cut off the cameras for. If the weather was good then Edward was fine with the walk home. If the weather was not so good then the spherical tuxedo-wearer would save him a couple blocks of walking.

This time it was different. Edward had no idea where he was but he knew he wasn't near home. The weather had also decided to be ultra gloomy as the rain fell so sharply that Edward wondered if it would soon start cutting ribbons out of his face. Edward cursed himself for not wearing a warmer coat today. It wasn't his fault really since he couldn't have predicted being snatched from the street in the early night and pulled into the familiar black car.

Over the howling wind he could hear the sound of the screeching tyres from that same black car. Edward swore loudly.

"Stupid old crone", he growled, "where the fuck has he dumped me?"

Edward squinted at the horizon. The thick daggers of rain made it impossible to see anything clearly but Edward could spot the recognisable lights of the Gotham skyline in the far distance. Jeez, he really must have pissed Oswald off.

The inflated man had yelled at Edward about seducing yet another one of the waitresses at the Iceberg Lounge and Edward just couldn't see what was so wrong about it. Oswald's father-like protectiveness over his female workers was truly an enigma to Edward. Judging by Oswald's extreme reaction to Edward's latest fling it looked like the Iceberg was now off limits. Unless Edward wanted to end up anchored down to the bottom of the river, or what ever else Oswald might have planned for him.

Edward starts the long journey back to Gotham. Trudging down the cracked tarmac road, he once again cursed himself for not wearing his warm coat. Not only was he shivering like a freshly-shaved lamb but he left his phone in a coat other than the one he was wearing.

"Damn it"

As his feet drag along the road, he distracts himself from the cold with fantasies of how much he'd love to punch a concave hole into Oswald's skull. He could easy just take his beloved cane and ram it in the back of the man's head. Edward couldn't think of a more satisfying thought. Except for the thought of warmth. He looks up again at the skyline, estimating the time it would take to walk all the way back to the city and then to navigate his way home. Gotham looked nothing more than a small brush stroke on a canvas of the black night abyss, but on that same canvas a spot of light also appeared. It was much closer.

Rarely does Edward experience a breach in the floodgates of relief, and whenever he does, it comes as the single greatest emotion he could ever feel. He picked up his pace and fought against the wind to head towards the house that stood a small distance away from the road. He could think only of getting inside to feel something other than his numb nose. With each closer step he hoped that whoever lived in the secluded area also owned some sort of phone. He couldn't care less if the inhabitants recognised his face from the Arkham mugshots occasionally plastered across every form of local media. He just wanted to be warm again.

He could make out the windows of the house more clearly now. The most hideous lace curtains hung across the glass, making Edward believe that he might end up talking to some ancient grandma. That was fine with him. Warmth, a phone call and possibly some warm cocoa if he was lucky.

Making his way up the house's path, he debated in his head who he would phone to come and pick him up. Most of the usual goons would probably be drunk out of their minds at this time of night. Query would most definitely be fast asleep which meant she was not an option either. He had once made the mistake previously of waking her up during the night. The bruise he sustained was stubborn enough to remain for months.

Echo would be awake, sober and probably his best option.

He stood outside the paint-chipped door, his frozen fingers reaching out to press the doorbell. As the house inside chimed from the bell, Edward could feel anticipation build up inside him. He'd been walking in the downpour for, at the most, half an hour but the prospect of anything above the average temperature of an industrial freezer had him internally bouncing with joy.

A pair of footsteps grew nearer, and after some shuffling with locks the door opened.

It was a man. Scruffy brown hair, a lanky frame and old enough to be at least five years above Edward's own age. Edward couldn't place where he had seen the man from somewhere before.

"Edward Nygma?"

The recognition throws Edward off immensely. A shiver runs down his spine at hearing his name spoken by a voice that seemed borderline demonic. Surely such a scrawny body couldn't produce that voice.

"W-who, what... how do you know my name?", Edward stammers. His earlier eagerness has gone and now he's completely confused. And afraid. The man had eyes that seemed very unhinged.

"The Hatter told me", the man looks as confused as Edward feels, "I thought we were meant to meet next week at the Iceberg?"

Edward tried to think back to his last conversation with Jervis. So many of the things that left Jervis's mouth would just filter themselves straight out of his head. The short blond man rarely said anything of use to Edward, so when there was something actually important it would rarely be listened to. Then, he remembered. From some past tea party with the insane man, a passing comment about a new character in Hatter's imaginary world.

"Professor Johnathan Crane?", Edward said. The man hesitated for a second but then nodded and held his hand out to Edward. The sleeve of the man's threadbare jumper rode up to reveal half his forearm, it was far too small for the towering man.

"It's good to meet you", Edward shook his hand and took a mental note on how soft his skin was, "But I wasn't expecting visitors at this time of night"

"I wasn't expecting to be abandoned in the middle of nowhere at this time of night either"

Edward grimaced. He'd seek out Oswald like a homing missile the moment he got back in the city. The limping bastard would get a black eye that matches the shade of his stupid car.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow at the shivering man.

"I suppose you require help then?", his eyes flashing dangerously at Edward. There seemed to be something manic about the man that grew the more he spoke.

"It would be greatly appreciated if you help this damsel in distress", Edward joked. He may be drenched to the bone but nothing would stop him from being his usual flamboyant self. Especially when making a first impression, and as an attempt to lighten the mood. Jonathan didn't seem to agree with this, as was shown when his face coiled into a disgusted grimace.

"You can come in to use the phone"

"Thank you so much, my knight in shi-" Edward began before Jonathan grabbed the lapel of his soaked suit and yanked Edward into the house. Edward yelped as he was dragged into the front hallway and thrust in front of a phone on the wall. Jonathan's frame struck a distorted shadow across the splintered wooden flooring. For a second his face showed distress. Like he was trapped inside himself. For a second his voice seemed less demonic and more afraid than Edward felt.

"But you'll be leaving immediately, for your own good"

"It's freezing outside!", Edward objected.

"Please"

Jonathan stood in the doorway while Edward rang up Echo. The shorter man kept darting his eyes over to Jonathan, who kept his own gaze firmly at the ground before his feet. One of his toes poked out from his black woollen sock. During the call, Edward noticed that Jonathan kept digging his fingernails into his palms almost hard enough to draw blood. It was as if he was trying to keep himself from falling asleep as his lashes kept fluttering closed.

The moment the phone was placed back on the wall, Edward felt bony fingers grasp his arm before he was thrown back outside into the rain. The door slammed shut and Edward huffed indignantly.

"How rude", he shoved his hands into his pockets and took a step down onto the path that lead back to the road where Echo would pick him up.

A loud crash came from inside the house behind him, making him jump out of his skin. He glanced back but there was no sign from the outside that anything would hurt him. Edward picked up his pace down the path, thinking it would be best to leave Professor Crane to whatever it was he that he was doing.

Reaching the side of the road once more, he looked expectantly into the distance and waited. While the stars above him become cloudy within the polluted night sky, he filled his time with attempts to de-mystify his own mind and figure out in what context he had heard the name Jonathan Crane before.


	2. The Lounge

"Hello Mr. Nygma, shall I get you the usual?"

"That would be absolutely delightful my dear"

Edward lent against the bar and took a moment to survey the crowd. The Iceberg was always full on a Friday evening since most of the rogues and crooks would flood in for the infamous swing night. A live band, black tie dress code, and the best cocktails to be found in the city. Edward wasn't the only person in Gotham to appreciate a bit of glamour.

The bartender places a French 75 on the bar next to Edward and he flashes a thankful grin at her. He gracefully sips the cocktail as his gaze lands upon a corner booth containing the very man he was there to meet. Edward had to admit that Jonathan did scrub up quite well and a waistcoat seemed to fit him like he was born to wear it. Edward grinned to himself.

"Can you be a darling and bring me over another one of these when I'm done with this one?", Edward gestures at his drink with his gaze fixed upon Jonathan. The bartender followed his line of sight to the corner of the lounge and then nodded.

"Sure thing Mr. Nygma"

Edward glanced back at her appreciatively. She was beautiful and on a normal evening he would have took her back home with him. But this was not a normal evening. Also he did not want to push his luck with Oswald because the threats he received in the back of that black car seemed very heartfelt. It just wasn't fair that Oswald employed the most gorgeous women in Gotham.

However, when he looked back at Jonathan he saw something a bit more interesting. Perhaps he wouldn't need to suffer under Oswald's ban and he could find an alternative target for the time being. Holding his drink steady he navigated his way through the dancing crowds occasionally smiling at someone he recognised. As he got closer he realised the scruffy-haired man didn't notice him since his eyes were trained directly at the exit door.

"If you're planning on manhandling me again may I suggest you go easy on the suit. It's expensive"

Jonathan jumps slightly before he looks up at Edward.

"Nygma, I thought you wouldn't show up"

For a moment Edward was taken aback by his strong Southern accent. His oddly mellifluous tones had not come through the week before when Jonathan sounded closer to the Antichrist than Paula Deen. He found it oddly charming.

"Oh please, it would be too great a crime for me not to turn up to Ozzie's place on swing night", he took a sip of his drink, "weirdly enough I don't think I've ever seen you around here before"

"I'm not really a swing person", Jonathan shifted in his seat, "I'm not here to socialise either"

"Oh, just here to admire my good looks are you?!, Edward smirked and leant forwards, chin resting in his palm.

"I'm here because this is apparently the only way to arrange a heist with you according to Jervis", Jonathan ignored Edward's flirting.

"A heist? Where? When? What do you need?"

Edward all but lit up with childlike curiosity.

"I need an access code for the EnviroTech laboratory's chemical storage"

"Why?", Edward's eyes glowed with intrigue.

"Because I require a certain chemical solution that only that specific laboratory can provide me with?", Jonathan offered with a raised eyebrow, "What does it matter to you what I need?"

Edward laughed lightly.

"I don't mean that. Why do you need an access code? EnviroTech doesn't have the strongest of doors. Could you not just break in?"

"I'd rather make this a quieter operation without tripping any alarms and alerting the Bat", Jonathan said before taking a sip of his own drink; apple cider.

"I suppose that's wise", Edward smiled at the thought of the Batman, "But don't you want to get him in a trap, you know, corner the parasite and uncover his true identity?"

He sipped at the last few drops of the cocktail.

"Not really", Jonathan's glance moved away from Edward and back towards the exit door. The shift made Edward beyond jealous of the door.

"And may I ask why not?", he purred in the seductive manner that he had learnt from Selena Kyle. Jonathan looked back at him with slightly widened eyes and his arms crossed defensively.

"Will you take up my offer or do I need to consult with someone else?", Jonathan's stony expression held the same woodenness as his tone.

Edward considered him for a moment. He could easily say no and have the man beg him for the help that Edward knew no one else was intelligent enough to provide Jonathan with. His ego greatly favoured this as it was too long ago that Edward had someone begging him. But he was too engrossed with wanting to know more about Jonathan's apparent lack of interest in Batman; it was too unlike that of the other rogues who all desired nothing more than the Bat's identity. And he wanted to hear more of that gorgeous Southern accent.

"I will gladly help. It's such a simple task I could do it with my eyes closed. Plus you won't be able to find anyone else brilliant enough to find you the access code so I guess it's my duty to help you"

Jonathan was about to thank Edward before he was interrupted by the gloating man.

"But only on the condition that you tell me about your beef with Batman"

Jonathan glared at him through his blue eyes and Edward could see the man internally deliberate. With the most angelic look he could muster up, he rested his chin on his hand. Cogs in Edward's own head were turning so fast that he couldn't have tried to stop them. He had to know. He needed to know. It would eat at him if he didn't know.

After a minute of silence and unbroken eye contact Jonathan sighed.

"The Scarecrow isn't just a pseudonym", he murmured ,"it's a murderous monster that lives inside me that makes me go insane. Batman knows how to provoke him and draw him out"

Edward snorted so hard his drink nearly came flying out of his nose. His shoulders shook with the weight of his laughter.

"It must suck to be you then", he joked with a genuine humorous grin. Jonathan looked at him with deadpan eyes and he stopped laughing within a split second.

"Oh my goodness, you aren't joking", Edward's face dropped from playful to horrified, "I'm so sorry"

Jonathan's expression remained the same which made Edward slightly panic that he may have just insulted him. His brain stumbled over multiple apologies at once.

"It's usually just Joker and the Hatter that we all see as a bit crazy. Well, Joker is certified insane but it's a joke around here. Not that insanity is a joke but we all don't take it seriously and sometimes we mess around by saying that we've gone insane ourselves. I thought you'd be in on it too but obviously you don't come here often and I am really genuinely sorry", Edward spoke with unstoppable speed.

Jonathan just stared back at him, his finger tapping slightly on the table like a nervous tick. For a few seconds he looked Edward up and down while saying nothing.

The silence stretched out, amplified by the band finishing their song and Jonathan's tense tapping on the table. Suddenly the band sprung to life again as the drums rolled to signal the beginning of Benny Goodman's legendary piece 'Sing Sing Sing'.

"Do you know how to dance?", Edward said in a desperate attempt to make up for what he had just said. He was partially sorry but partially hopeful that he could turn the evening around and amaze the professor with his swing dance skills. And make him forget about Edward's awkward mistake. And then get him into his bed.

Jonathan shook his head, seemingly taken back by Edward's offer.

"In my two years of the criminal lifestyle I've forgotten how to dance", he emptied his pint glass and settled it back on the table, "and I've never learnt to dance to music like this anyways"

He stood up and shifted himself out of the booth. Edward panicked, he was determined not to let him shrug off all his flirting so easily.

"I can't believe it though, two years as a rogue and we have only just crossed paths" Edward locked eyes with Jonathan, "It's almost criminal that it took so long for us to meet formally"

Even Edward had to cringe to himself at that line but he maintained his cheeky grin in the hopes that he wouldn't be going home alone tonight. Perhaps he could make Jonathan stay for a bit longer.

"I agree" Jonathan's face momentarily flashed with a smirk, "Scarecrow apologises for shoving you around last week"

With that he turned and left Edward at the table alone; his grin disappearing along with the Professor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping Crane isn't too OOC because this is my first fic lmao

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on this site and I have no idea what I'm doing lmao. This will be a multi-chapter fic with some smut creeping its way in.


End file.
